2023 has been a year of abundant blessings in my home, in my family, in my church, and in my writing. My husband and I celebrated 17 years of marriage, we welcomed two new grandbabies to the family (including our #23 in ’23), and watched our oldest granddaughter get married. Life is such a precious gift! I have grown as a wife and mother, while sacrificing to embrace the biblical role of those titles. As a result, my children have stepped out in faith and begun to establish their own walk with God. This year, we witnessed both of our girls being filled with Holy Ghost! As a family, we attended a new camp meeting and forged new relationships with people of like precious faith. Our church has seen miracles! And when I set pen to paper with prayerful intent, words begin to flow that are guided by a greater purpose than simply expressing myself.
But if I were to choose just one moment of 2023 to share with you, it would be a moment nearly missed. It would be a moment of reluctance and ambivalence. It’s not always the anticipated moments of our lives that define us. Sometimes, it’s the moments we try to avoid.
Over the summer, the Ladies of NBAC voted to venture out together on an overnight trip to Branson to watch Queen Esther.
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
Except, I didn’t want to go.
To be more accurate, I didn’t want to go with them.
It wasn’t that I minded sharing the experience with them, I was just overwhelmed with guilt about leaving my family out.
Esther is my favorite book of the Bible. It speaks to me in ways I still don’t understand. It’s my dog’s name. There’s an ingrained essence of Esther that shapes part of my life at home every single day. To go to Branson and watch this play in particular, and enjoy this experience without my family felt like a betrayal. Especially to my daughter who wanted to come but was too young for the trip.
So I resisted. I had conflicts at work. When those resolved, I had financial conflicts. When that resolved, I just had a bad attitude. Sometimes, it’s the only way we can express the guilt we feel.
These Ladies didn’t care. They loaded me, my attitude, and my luggage into the vehicle and away we went.
Walls were torn down on this trip. Misunderstandings were clarified. Hurts and disappointments were healed. Love abounded in that crowded car. The edifying and strengthening love of a unified body. Oh, and the play was spectacular! If you haven’t seen it, you should!
One of these precious Ladies have now gone on to claim her Heavenly reward. We had no clue in July, when we packed ourselves into the vehicle on top of each other like sardines, that this Ladies Retreat would be her last.
The experience reminds me, yet again, that we are not promised tomorrow. All we have is today. And when we face a new day, we have to say to ourselves, “Perhaps the Lord awakened me today for such a time as this.” Plans are good. Goals are important. It is vital to give ourselves something to strive toward and look forward to. But life is a journey, not a destination. May we be ever aware of the gift along the way.
